whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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