Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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