I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I yelled at your uterus for you.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
