i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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