You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
