dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
