You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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