I only kidnapped one of them. chill
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
