what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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