Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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