I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
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I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
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I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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