And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
