Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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