Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
FUCK WHALES
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
