Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
its not stalking. its research.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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