Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
