I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize