I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
