i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
