i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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