Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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