your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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