oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
