we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
