Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
