So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
