The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
