How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
