How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
