i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
