She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
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I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
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All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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