I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
