Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
