Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
