just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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