We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
