What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
