Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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