Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
