THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
