I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wish you could order shots online.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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