He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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