Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
