I wanna passion pit in your ass
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
