It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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