I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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