It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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