There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
