I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
