I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think I just sharted jello shots
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
