I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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