he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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