So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize