No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We got so high we made milksteak
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
