i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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