Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Iād say they were worth it. He screamed āyour tits are fanfuckingtastic!āwhile he was cumming
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