the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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