your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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