The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
