I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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