in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize