Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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