White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
