thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
